At a home fellowship group, we were talking about forgiveness. One of my friends said, “I’ve forgiven the people who hurt me, but I can’t seem to forget about it. The incident keeps coming back to my mind and it hurts so much.”
She was amazed and relieved when I told her, “There’s a difference between forgiving someone and asking God to heal the wound.” It was one of those ‘aha’ moments for her. Slowly, she has entered into a deeper process of healing and forgiveness that is bringing to her the freedom which had eluded her for so many years.
One of the reasons I wrote Soul Surgeon was because I have met hundreds of people over the years who have been given well-intentioned, but ultimately unhelpful, counsel from a church leader. Often, rather than receiving counsel which led to healing and maturity, they have gone away feeling unheard, judged or confused. Sometimes the advice worked–for a short time–but because the wound was left unhealed and the sin unconfessed the problems soon returned. It wasn’t because the pastor or leader intended to cause hurt; rather, it was because they didn’t have the tools to help.
Contact me if I can be of help to you.